Mixed emotions

Am I allowed to say it out loud?  It feels pretty scary since everyone seems to approach the impending arrival of a new baby one way, and I another…   or perhaps not.  Perhaps we all play the game, smile and say the right thing.  “Oh how excited you must be!  Just two more weeks and you’ll get to meet your little one.  It’s such a special time!”

Meanwhile I just feel:

apprehensive for the birthing process which is never smooth in my case                               sad for Annika who is going to be supplanted                                                                          weary at the thought of surviving the first couple months of NO sleep                                   blessed to have a husband who helps out so much with the kids and our home                 curious about what the new one will be like                                                                               anxious about the upcoming chaos and trying to keep the rest of the household going pragmatic, knowing that this will be survived, just like the arrival of my other four children                                                                                                                                                    happy anticipating the precious moments bonding with the new baby                              hoping this baby doesn’t come soon so I can get some more things done                                   thankful this pregnancy has gone so well (despite my advanced age ;))                                 praying that all will be well with the baby

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Thankfully all things are in God’s hands and He provides strength for the day.  The challenge is to really believe and rely on His strength.

~ Lora

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About Lora

I am a 40 something wife to my patient and talented husband Scott, Mom to my five children (from toddler to teen) and oldest sister to eight siblings. I am interested in too many things, love to read everything around me, and have developed a strong interest in design and renovation along with my husband. I am conservative, Christian, and by the grace of God, trying to find His way through the ups and downs of my life.
This entry was posted in faith, kids, parenting, reflection. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Mixed emotions

  1. Elizabeth J Ryniak says:

    All goes well when our trust is with the Lord. Praying all goes well for you and the baby.
    You have a great husband and wonderful children.

  2. Marcia says:

    I have shared some of these same emotions many times, Lora, and understand how you are feeling. It’s perfectly reasonable to have our joys tempered by the responsibilities and concerns of what lies ahead. Hoping that you have (soon!) a good delivery and a healthy baby to hold in your arms.

  3. Sandra says:

    Lora, I think you’ve put into words what many if not most mothers feel at the arrival of any baby, be it the first or fifth for that matter. You aptly articulate the range of emotions – both apprehension and excitement – expectant mothers feel. I know I had all of those – I think more with my second than my first. The first you just go in cold turkey and realize afterwards how much it changed your life! Don’t forget though, that your hormones also affect your emotions. I don’t think I cried in joy, anger, frustration, excitement and pure silliness so much in all my life when I was pregnant!
    Wishing you a safe and speedy (not too speedy tho!) delivery and the Lord’s sustaining grace for the next several months!

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