I hear her crying for Mommy and stumble out of bed. A quick rock and back rub and I’ll be back in the arms of morpheus. She kicks her legs, wiggles in my arms, restless yet tired. I’m glad I don’t know how long I’ve been rocking. She can’t settle … Her eyes closed, body tired, but a restless spirit caught hold of her. I can relate, just last week I woke up feeling so antsy…. sleepy in spirit but the body wanted to move… kick those legs, turn over, turn over….

The dilemma… let her cry it out? She’ll fall asleep out of exhaustion, face wet with tears, voice hoarse from calling Mommy, head all sweaty…
I cave… and trundle her back to our bed. Is it caving though? I see it more clearly with this my probable last child. The time is so short…. before long they’re grown. This terrible capitulation will certainly not result in a ten year old needing Mommy every night.  I remember the others. The older ones all sleep well through the night… usually. Why quell the Mommy instinct… why push an almost 2 yr old to fend for herself with those twitchy itchy restless legs of hers?
She settles in tight between Daddy and me. Legs still, the breathing gets deeper. Then, boom, boom, boom…. footsteps hurtle down the hall way and the second youngest launches himself into our bed. He burrows under the blanket and my hand feels his pounding heart. “Bad dream?” I whisper. “Yes,” he sighs as he falls asleep. There I lie, wide awake, surrounded by love, and I know the morning will be rough, but these times too will pass. And I think to myself, parenting isn’t what really works for you, but what works for your children.  It’s ultimately about sacrifice and isn’t that, in the end, the story of Redemption? It’s what doesn’t come naturally to us, self-sacrifice,  but it’s what He did willingly- sacrificed Himself for His people.


About Lora

I am a 40 something wife to my patient and talented husband Scott, Mom to my five children (from toddler to teen) and oldest sister to eight siblings. I am interested in too many things, love to read everything around me, and have developed a strong interest in design and renovation along with my husband. I am conservative, Christian, and by the grace of God, trying to find His way through the ups and downs of my life.
This entry was posted in kids, parenting, reflection. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Sleep

  1. Sandra says:

    Precious! Thanks for the perspective – I’m dealing with sleeping issues here too, but cannot bear to let them cry either, knowing the phase will pass…and I will look back and wish it all back again.

  2. Nicolette says:

    Well, I will look back again and NEVER miss those sleepless nights!!!!!! Personally am all for letting a child cry it out so that YOU can be cheerful during the day – a better mom, wife, and all that good stuff. But I also understand this issue is loaded with emotion and wouldn’t shove my perspective on anyone….

  3. Connie Prol says:

    Have to agree with Nick. Could not deal with it better to let them cry a few nights than be up every night.
    but hey if you don’t mind getting up every night than have fun.

  4. Joanne says:

    ha ha…opened a pandora’s box. I dare not reply seeing as I don’t have kids of my own…

  5. Marcia says:

    I’m with you, Lora. For nearly 20 years, I was up on a nightly basis with one or another, and my two youngest still make their way to our bed on occasion. It did me no harm, and it made them secure. I just wish we had bought a king-size bed when they both come the same night!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s